My son is celebrating his 18th birthday today. On this day, 18 years ago, at this time (11ishpm), my husband had gone home for the night, and I was alone with our son.

I had been fighting a terrible cold! When we arrived that morning at the hospital, I had gone in to be induced – a whirlwind story of being told I had to have a c/section to I could deliver, to c/section, back to delivering naturally… But, because I was so sick, I was going in to beg-off the induction just a couple more days until I was over the cold. However, the determined baby was in trouble and I needed an emergency c/section RIGHT NOW. So quickly, my husband almost missed it.

But baby was here, we were both good, and he was perfect. He was sleeping sounding, in the bassinet beside my bed. It was too far away. I plucked him out of it and held him in my arms. All night long. I just watched him sleep. I had no where else to be, nothing else to do, and there was nothing else I would have rather done in that moment then watch that perfect little boy sleep. Watching him sleep was something I continued to do throughout his childhood. While I am sure it may seem strange or weird to many, anytime he slept, I was jettisoned back to our first night together in the hospital.

Life has a way of happening when you aren’t expecting it. Birthdays wiz by and while everyone tells you to enjoy each second (and you do), it still flashes by instantaneously. I remember his first birthday (and second, third, fourth, five – and many more between then and now). Milestones, hard times (there have been a few) and many (many) laughs. Family trips, weekends at my Mom’s, bake-a-thons, gingerbread house decorating days with his Grandmother’s, camping trips with his Pepere & Memere. There were hundreds of nights spend camping together as a family.

Eighteen years of memories, laughs, tears, a few (more than a few) fights, and just like that, adulthood. Whether you (as a parent) are ready or not, you wake up one morning, and they tower over you, and BOOM, you are receiving a message from the school messaging system telling you they are an adult and to contact the school if you want to access you child’s school profile!

There feels like there are so many pieces of wisdom I should impart upon him! All day, I keep thinking about what lessons haven’t I taught him, what things have I not prepared him in this life (spoiler alert: I am still not prepared for life, my Mom dying was a huge kick in the pants)! But the reality is, you can never totally prepare anyone for all of life’s challenges. I think you can only guide them so far, prepare their moral compass for the world in which you live, and hope they fly.