I think of this more abstractly. It is easy to think of a ‘thing’ – like a new sweater, a pedicure, or a nice bubble bath. All nice things and probably things I could do for myself during the month of December to help decompress.

But I started thinking about it differently. What could I do for myself that would help more long term than the sort of instant gratification one gets from tangible things like a bath or a pedicure. They are all great in the moment and very relaxing. But the moment you exit the tub, the real world returns. Kids start calling on you, dinner needs to be made, emails answered. The same is true with a pedicure. Once you leave the salon, you enter traffic and drive home, maybe do some crazy Christmas shopping and have to deal with the mall… All kinds of crazy!

What about something I could give myself that allows myself some freedom to move, some time to sit back and think, and provides permission to let go? How could I gift myself something like that? When could I do this for myself amongst all the crazy things going on for me right now? Who would afford me this time? Where could I adopt this? Is there anything that even exists that checks all these boxes?

Yes, I decided. There is. Simply put. I am giving myself grace. Grace allows freedom to move through my day at my own pace, time to sit back and think (or not think – I can just watch TV for the sake of watching TV). It allows me to sometimes, just let go, even if it is just for a moment. I can apply it to any part of my life. Whether it is dealing with my Mother’s estate, my kiddo, my writing, or even whether I am going to get the whole house decorated like I usually do.

The best part? No one even need know I am doing it. It is a subtle, small shift. A private moment with just myself, applied when I need it (or want it). So I give myself grace this holiday season, the one thing I can do for myself to heal, to get a hold of things, or even to just take a breath.