Things you love about your past.

Now, when I first read this prompt (at the first of the month), my gut response was “Not a hell of a lot.” Now that I’ve had the month to mull it over, I do feel differently. ‘The past’ doesn’t just mean childhood or teenage years, my 20s, etc. It means all times prior to today. Looking back, there are a lot of good times in the days gone by.

I was a very different person once upon a time. I think this is true for many people. Who I was in high school is not who I am today. I had some mental health issues. That didn’t always make for a really happy me, so it is hard to pick out ‘things I love’, because a lot of my memories are painted over, however…

I had some pretty amazing friends. Led by my sister and we had some spectacular times. I think about nights in the Cabin playing cards, listening to music, and the bonds of friendship. Those were good times. I love those memories.

I was telling Boo (my kiddo) during a thunderstorm the other night about sitting out on the backstep listening to thunderstorms as a child. We don’t make storms today like we did then. Or at least my memories of those storms were that they were larger than life. Thunder that vibrated in your chest, lighting that lit the sky for miles, and rain that flooded the yard and the ‘North 40’.

One hot summer night, during my 20s, sitting around our condo with my dear friend, during a blackout, talking by candlelight, until the wee hours of the morning about life, the world, and all the dreams for the future. I don’t honestly remember what the dreams were, I just remember the three of us (her, my husband, and me) sitting around talking. It was a fantastic night.

Late nights up nursing Boo, when he was a baby. Sitting on the chesterfield in the front room, trying not to fall asleep, watching the sunrise. Sometimes, it was ‘late enough’ (like 5:30am) that I’d bundle baby up, grab our dog, Max, and take them all out for a walk after. The stillness of the neighbourhood, the robins singing their early morning song, the crisp air. I still remember tucking Boo in, the multicolour crochet blanket I made him, snuggly wrapped around him, juggling the leash, house keys, stroller handle.

While I didn’t think I had many fond memories, it turns out I was flooded with memories! More than I could ever list. This month was about reflection, shifting perspective, and learning to see the positive through the negative.

Gratitude for what was. Gratitude for what is. Gratitude for what will be.

Post inspired by 30 Days of Gratitude by Ordinary & Happy