When I had my son, I had ideas of how things would be. I was so certain.

1. I would breastfeed. It would be easy, it would come naturally. All the mother’s were doing it. Especially those in my online mum’s groups. But only for one year, because that was all that was needed, statistically speaking. Maybe fourteen months.
2. I would adapt co-sleep. Baby would have a bassinet beside the bed. In our room until six months, then transition to his (or her) own room.
3. I would cloth diaper. Cotton, with covers for home, and ‘all in ones’ for when we were out.

Well, friends, Meatloaf had it wrong. ‘Two outta three’ may not have been bad, and while I did do ‘Three outta three’, the only thing that went “according to plan” was number three. I cloth diapered the crap out of that baby of mine. But only until he was two, because low and behold, he was a potty training genius. Mostly, he hated diapers with a passion and decided to use the potty and never looked back. I liked his determination! Even if I’d only bought the bigger cloth diapers eight months before he decided to abandon diapers.

The other two weren’t so easy. They also came with much more judgement. Back in 2008, when my son was born, the ‘granola’ movement was just beginning to take hold. At least in my circle. I always felt like I was a bit of an oddball.

I am an oddball. Perhaps that’s why things went as well as they did.

My son slept like a champ… His first night of life. So well, the nurses were harassing me to wake him up to feed him. I refused – something about sleeping babies. But apparently, I got that confused with dogs. But I was vindicated the next morning when the old Scottish pediatrician came in and told the nurses you never wake a sleeping baby (OR DOGS)! Hungry babies wake when they’re hungry! HA! He just looked too sweet when he slept to wake up!

And that, friends, is that last time he slept a five hour stretch for three months. Then he did a twelve while camping. Then he didn’t sleep again, for us, until he was five. I went back to work when he was thirteen months old. But I had plans! Co-sleeping in a bassinet bedside until six months, then we’d transition him to his own room. We got him a Moses basket style bassinet. It was adorable. The basket came off the stand so he could move around the house with me.

Problem was, he didn’t sleep in it. Whether he was allergic to it or he hated it, I don’t know. Try as I might, we wouldn’t sleep in it. So we tried a playpen. A little better, we were still up frequently, like often enough, that I felt if he was just nearer to me, maybe he’d settle down.

So that is what I did. I pulled him into bed with me one night. And that is when all the judgement started!