Sometimes, the universe tries to tell you something, you just have to shut up and listen. Often, we ignore it, brushing it off as coincidence or bad luck. The funny thing is, even when you see it in hindsight, we are apt to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, but I have to figure out why that is.

I spoke about my former in-laws and marriage a few memories ago, this is, indirectly about that, I suppose. It is about the signs I think the universe sent me leading up to that and how I managed to ignore them, for the ‘greater’ good. How… If… I’ve managed to see signs sent from the universe since then, or if I still ignore them. Or, if it is all just coincidence!

We had decided on a June wedding. I don’t recall exactly why, probably something to do with my mother-in-law. She controlled many of the decisions we made. June 21, longest day of the year… It wasn’t the date I originally wanted, but there was a double booking at the venue, so we got bumped back a week (sign one). Things were ticking along just fine.

My sister was my maid of honour, and she picked the most sensational dress! It was a dark teal green with black lace and a ruched and pleated bodice. My dress was an Alfred Angelo, very mid-90’s style dress. Pretty, of course, lots of pearls and beading. My sister’s fit like a glove, mine needed a few fittings. A couple months before the wedding, we went to the bridal store for a final fitting and to our horror – my sister’s dress was dirty! It had gotten all marked up on storage. How, the bridal store could not explain (sign two). To their credit, they sent it out to be cleaned, assuring us it would be perfect. When we saw it next, it was great, but the image was burned in my mind.

I think things went relatively smoothly until the wedding day, when my honourary usher, my brother-in-law, split open his dress pants and was shopping for new pants an hour before the wedding (sign three). There was a panicked moment where he wasn’t sure he’d find something in time and may have to show up in jeans. Which, in retrospect, wouldn’t have mattered, but my ex-mother-in-law would not have allowed it. While the wedding wasn’t formal, she was (and made me, by extension) very insistent we have a ‘dress code’ for the wedding.

Now, I always joke if my Dad has asked me as we got off the elevator “Are you sure you want to do this?” I would have said “NO!” And run like the wind… I am not really sure if I would have, but I know I was filled with trepidation when we got off the elevator and was truly unsure if I was making the right decision.

Now, I was not scared to speak in public. Especially in front of a room of my family and friends. He had his parents and an aunt and uncle – being he was from the UK; he had no other family and no friends to attend. Of the 48 guests in attendance, 44 of them were associated with me. I stood up to give a toast during the reception and could not speak a single word. Not a sound could come out. To me, this was another sign (four)!

There were more signs… On our way to the gift opening the next day, my car broke down… I got it going again but, on our honeymoon, our car broke down again. (sign five) It died on me driving down a mountain and if it hadn’t been a standard transmission, I’m not sure how we would have stopped. The engine died and I ended up with manual steering and brakes. I was able to get it stopped, just before we took a header off a cliff. Then, upon our return home, I heard from the photographer that NONE of the photographs turned out. Her camera malfunctioned… (sign six)

Then? A while after the wedding, I received a call…

We were not ‘officially’ married. Legally speaking we were not married because of a mistake on our marriage license. I have three middle names and they did not all appear on the license, because of this, we were not, technically, married (sign seven). I had to go to the registry, swear I was who I said, fill out a form, and tada, married.

Looking back, there were so many signs showing me both before, and after that this was a bad choice! Would I do it again? Probably, I still would have gotten off that elevator and made that walk, even if my Dad had asked me. It was a learning experience I had to make. Hindsight it 20/20 but sometimes we are to make these choices regardless because they help us become who we are.

Though I am pretty certain I’d choose a different dress!